Could Worry Actually Be Helping You?

I was once a chronic worrier. The strange thing is, I believed that my worry was helping me.

Looking back now, I can see how it was “helping” me. Worrying about my weight and appearance—on top of continually denying my feelings because I worried too much about what others thought of me—helped me to develop bulimia. Worrying about being loveable and being good enough helped me to stay in unhealthy relationships. Worrying about being likeable helped me to not stand up for myself, express my needs, and do what was best for me. Worrying about money helped me to lie… Read More

How to Overcome the Fear of Making Mistakes

 To overcome the fear of making mistakes, aim for success, not perfection.

Is the fear of making a mistake preventing you from taking action? If so, the way to move beyond this fear and gain the courage to follow through on your action plan is to aim for success, not perfection. As a “recovering” perfectionist, I understand that if you have perfectionistic tendencies, you may equate success with perfection. After all, if you make a mistake, it means you have failed, right? Wrong. A mistake is not a failure. A mistake is simply the outcome of an action.… Read More

The Power to Create the Best You

In his book For One More Day, Mitch Albom writes, “I met a man once who did a lot of mountain climbing. I asked him which was harder, ascending or descending? He said without a doubt descending, because ascending you were so focused on reaching the top, you avoided mistakes. ‘The backside of a mountain is a fight against human nature,’ he said. ‘You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up.’” That’s good advice to remember.

It’s easy to value, accept, and care about yourself “on the way up,”… Read More

How to Release Guilty Feelings

It was near the beginning of the school year and I had just reminded my then eight-year-old daughter to pack her dance clothes in her school bag. Obviously not thrilled with the request, she let out a big sigh and said, “Mom, why do I always have to pack my own bag? All of the other kids’ moms always pack their kids’ bags.”

Ah, the guilt trip. There was a time when her strategy might have worked. There was a time when my internal dialogue would have gone something like, “If I was a good mom, I would pack my… Read More