Archive

The Power to Create the Best You

In his book For One More Day, Mitch Albom writes, “I met a man once who did a lot of mountain climbing. I asked him which was harder, ascending or descending? He said without a doubt descending, because ascending you were so focused on reaching the top, you avoided mistakes. ‘The backside of a mountain is a fight against human nature,’ he said. ‘You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up.’” That’s good advice to remember. It’s easy to value, accept, and care about yourself “on the way up,”… Read More

How to Overcome the Fear of Making Mistakes

 To overcome the fear of making mistakes, aim for success, not perfection. Is the fear of making a mistake preventing you from taking action? If so, the way to move beyond this fear and gain the courage to follow through on your action plan is to aim for success, not perfection. As a “recovering” perfectionist, I understand that if you have perfectionistic tendencies, you may equate success with perfection. After all, if you make a mistake, it means you have failed, right? Wrong. A mistake is not a failure. A mistake is simply the outcome of an action. Read More

Could Worry Actually Be Helping You?

I was once a chronic worrier. The strange thing is, I believed that my worry was helping me. Looking back now, I can see how it was “helping” me. Worrying about my weight and appearance—on top of continually denying my feelings because I worried too much about what others thought of me—helped me to develop bulimia. Worrying about being loveable and being good enough helped me to stay in unhealthy relationships. Worrying about being likeable helped me to not stand up for myself, express my needs, and do what was best for me. Worrying about money helped me to lie… Read More

Are We There Yet? A Cure for “Destination Impatience”

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” If you have children, you likely have first-hand experience with just how impatient they can be when it comes to traveling. Or perhaps you can remember the impatience you felt as a child during a long trip. Now that you’re all grown up, the big question is: Are you still impatient on the journey? Many of us have carried this “destination impatience” forward into adulthood. When we’re in school, we can’t wait to graduate. When we graduate, we can’t wait to work. When we work, we can’t wait to work somewhere else, find… Read More

What is YOUR Team Afraid Of?

The company was about to spend millions of dollars on a product training program when in reality, product training wasn’t even the real problem! In his book The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure, Grant Cardone writes about an experience in which his company was hired to conduct a “mystery shop” campaign for an international company to identify where the breakdowns in the sales process were occurring. He writes: “We were trying to collect information on where the franchises needed the most help. We visited more than 500 locations to see what percentage of time the… Read More

The Kindness of a Complete Stranger

“The world is full of good people. If you can’t find one, be one!” — Unknown This is a story of an act of kindness from a complete stranger which had a profound impact. It happened when I was in Saint Lucia with my family. My sister, Deanna, who also happens to be my best friend and one of the funniest and kindest people I know, went blind in one eye about 9 years ago. Deanna sometimes feels self-conscious about the way her eye looks now. The pupil is no longer black; it’s bright and shiny—it… Read More

Take Back Your Power by Accepting Responsibility

Worrier says: It’s not my fault that I worry. Warrior says: Worry is a choice. I choose to let go of worry. I intend to live with inner peace. Years ago, I was convinced my weight was the source of my worry. Despite well-meaning advice from friends and family, I thought if I could only lose enough weight, my worries would disappear. I believed being thin would fix everything. Everyone would like me, I would like myself, and I would finally be calm and carefree. Perhaps… Read More

Retrain Your Thinking to Regain Your Inner Peace

It was a Saturday morning and my then nine-year-old daughter, Brianna, was getting dressed to take an entrance exam at a school. Just before we left the house, I noticed she had matched her nice clean outfit with her old outdoor running shoes. I said, “Brianna, do you think you should put on a different pair of shoes?” She looked down at her feet and then back up at me and said, “Mom, they’re not testing me on my shoes.” I said, “You’re absolutely right.” And we headed off to school—Brianna with… Read More

The Boomerang Effect

I was sitting in my car at a gas station on the corner of a busy intersection watching the line of cars stopped at a stoplight. Two teen-aged boys sat in the first car stopped at the light. The teenager in the passenger seat threw a pop can out of his window. Immediately after, the driver in the car behind the teens jumped out of his vehicle, picked up the pop can, tossed it back through the teenager’s window and got back into his car. The light turned green and they all drove away. The whole scene fascinated me and… Read More

How to Get Rid of Clutter to Calm Your Mind

Physical clutter equals mind clutter. Donate, recycle, or discard those things you no longer need, use, or love. Take a deep breath and exhale very slowly. As you exhale, imagine blowing away all your worries, concerns, and tension. Allow your muscles to relax, and begin to breathe at your regular pace. Now imagine you’re in a calm, relaxing, and peaceful place. That place might be a sandy beach on a warm summer’s day, or the woods on a crisp fall morning. Wherever that relaxing place is, at the end of this paragraph, close your eyes, continue to… Read More

Are You Trying to Get the Harvest Before You Plant the Seed?

Are you trying to get a harvest before you planted the seed? Imagine your life, your goal, your dream is a seed. In order for it to grow, you need to plant it. Planting that seed means putting it in the soil to grow. That’s where most dreams die . . . in the soil. The reason is, it can be lonely and dark in the soil. It can bring up feelings of uncertainty, doubt, or disappointment. That’s when we become afraid and dig the seed back up. Resist digging up in doubt what you planted in faith. Trust the… Read More

Answers to the Top Five Questions I’m Asked through Social Media and After Speaking Engagements

Can you guess which questions I’m most frequently asked through social media and after speaking engagements? Well, here they are: How do you get your teeth so white? How did you become a professional speaker? How old are you? How did you get your books published? Are you always this positive? I’m answering these questions here for two reasons: One, maybe you’ve wanted to ask me one, some, or all of these questions because you’re curious . . . in which case I’m happy to appease your curiosity! Two, maybe you’ve wanted to ask me one, some, or all of… Read More

How to Create an Extraordinary Life . . . Even When You’re Not Feeling So Extraordinary

Do you know what tomorrow will look like for you? If you’re like most people, tomorrow will look a lot like today does – in the same way today looks a lot like yesterday did. For most, tomorrow will be filled with the same story, the same characters, and the same scenery as you travel the same route to work with the same thoughts running through your mind. You’ll likely even feel the same way tomorrow that you feel today. In fact, it’s quite likely not much will be different at all. It will be familiar, known, and ordinary as… Read More

The SNEAKY Way You Sabotage Your Goals: AND why this will be the year you finally succeed!

Ever wonder why, in the past, you didn’t stick to your goal to: lose weight, quit smoking, stop drinking, or whatever else it is you’ve been trying to achieve  . . . Even though you really, really, REALLY wanted to? It wasn’t because you didn’t know what to do. I’ll bet you knew exactly what to do. You probably even had the plan to follow – or – at the very least, you knew how to figure out where to get it! So what was it? 1) What stopped you? AND, more importantly . . . 2) How can… Read More

Five Steps to Control Your Thoughts . . . So Your Thoughts Don’t Control You!

I was dressed and ready to drive to the studio where I hosted a morning TV show. Before leaving the house, I had to take the trash to the curb for collection. As I neared the end of my driveway, I tripped and fell. I hit the pavement so hard that my hands and knees were bleeding. I went back into the house and, feeling sorry for myself, I was just about to cry. I thought, “Denise, you have a choice. You can choose to continue feeling sorry for yourself, or you can choose to make today the best day… Read More

The “Worry Gene” and Sound Advice from Walt Disney

Is worry genetic? The answer is . . . YES! The discovery of a “worry-gene” made front-page news of the New York Times. The article reported a study published by the journal Science. It turns out, there is a certain gene associated with worry. This gene (specifically, gene SLC6A4 on chromosome 17q12) has a long version and a short version. If you get the short end of the stick – I mean, the short version of this gene – from either one of your parents, you’re likely to be more prone to worry, anxiety, and negative thinking. So what does… Read More

The Stress-Eating Cycle: Why you get sucked in and how to get out!

So you’ve committed (and recommitted) to sticking to your healthy eating plan. But . . . You feel stressed (bored, overwhelmed, tired), so . . . You eat a donut (a cupcake, a cookie) or two . . . or twelve. You feel relief . . . for a while. The relief wears off and regret sets in. The regret triggers more stress and . . . you reach for those darn comfort foods again! Why did it happen? I mean . . . . . . you knew what you had planned to eat that day. . . . Read More

A Cure for Perfectionism: How to Halt Unrealistically High Expectations

Are you a perfectionist? Are you a recovering perfectionist? Are you not responding because you’re afraid of answering incorrectly? Whatever your answer may be, one thing is certain . . . Perfectionism breeds worry. Think of it this way, if you’re a perfectionist where work is concerned, you may find yourself worrying about making mistakes, being rejected, losing the sale, or being anything other than number one in your field. If you are consumed by achieving the perfect appearance, you’ll likely worry about aging, your weight, or your wardrobe. I realize that striving for perfection does have its place. At… Read More

A Christmas Miracle

I asked the woman behind the counter, “Are you ready for Christmas yet?” Even though I didn’t know this woman, she confided in me, “Well, I have twin 14-year-old boys and money is really tight this year. I let them know we’re going to have to wait until February to celebrate Christmas.” While driving home, I thought, “I wish there was something I could do to help.” Then I thought, “What are you talking about?! You can help her.” Money had been tight for me too that year but I still had enough to help her. That’s exactly what I… Read More

Stay Encouraged. Victory is Coming Your Way!

Get this . . . Margaret Marek became a first-time mom at the age of 93! . . . and I thought I’d waited a long time for some of my dreams to happen! How does a 93-year-old woman become a mom? Well, at the age of 93, Margaret married Mel. Mel was an 89-year-old widower. On the day they were married, Margaret became a (step)mom to Mel’s two grown sons and a grandmother to his four grandchildren—which included my two daughters, Lindsay and Brianna. Her new sons and grandchildren visited, called, and sent her cards and flowers every Mother’s… Read More